Unfulfilling Success: Looks Good on the Outside, But What About Your Heartache?

Maybe you’ve checked most of the boxes for what you were told Success looks like, but inside is another story. It might be hard to talk about it because you think no one will get it.

I have a window into this experience on a regular basis. When people contact me for coaching, unfulfilling “success” is often the case. Big heartache, often in secret.

unfulfilling success

It’s so common. Worse, a lot of people think that’s just how it is, or how it has to be: that work and fulfillment don’t go together unless you make too little money to sustain it.

I disagree. It doesn’t have to be that way.

I also have the good fortune to know a lot of people who have found another way. I include myself in that. I know it’s possible in my bones to have sustainability and meaningful work.

In my own work experience, the most miserable job of all was the one that looked the most “successful” on the outside! I have never realized that correlation until now. Interesting.

I’ll explain why it matters to go for something better, and why it’s possible.

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Simple Truths for Being a Great Leader – That Caring Introverts Are Great At.

Hey, leadership is not just extroverted male territory. Introverts and women make great leaders too.

Some people know this but it bears repeating. This is proven by research. Many cultures, especially in the U.S., are still stuck in an outdated stereotype that leaders are extroverted men.

women leaders collage

Let’s look at the reality.

I’ve collected some of my favorite resources for effective leadership here. They are based on real-life stories and research, and they happen to be entertaining too. In each case, you can see what actually works for leadership.

It so happens that caring introverts are naturally great at the things that really work. Don’t worry extroverts, you can be good at leadership too. We need each other.

We all have natural gifts for leadership and we can all develop our talents even further. I hope these stories help.

In any of the resources here, you’ll gain some inspiration for becoming (or allowing) the kind of caring and effective leader you want to be. These are some of the resources I have shared with my leadership coaching clients.

Psst, you don’t have to have a leader title to be a leader.

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The Joy and Challenge of Finding Your Purpose

This topic of finding your purpose gets all complicated, doesn’t it? Worrying what others will think, how to find what you love, how it all fits with making a living, and all that practical stuff.

In an article about ikigai (a Japanese concept about purpose), they describe the secret to happiness as doing what you love, or more specifically what has a sense of meaning and purpose.

On the one hand, it seems like a simple equation: Do what makes you happy… in order to be happy. It’s both funny and sad how much we end up in a tangle over that simple equation.

In this post, I’ll share some hints and inspiration from others and from my own experience. Continue reading

Self-employment Myths and Reality. It’s OK To Be Wobbly.

When the topic of self-employment comes up, I hear two common responses:

  1. “That’s too hard so I won’t even try.” or
  2. “I should be able to get something going within a few months, or else it’s a failure.”

Neither is grounded in reality. There’s such an odd mythology around self-employment, perhaps because people don’t talk about what goes on behind closed doors.

Here’s what I think is true about self-employment, in a nutshell.

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What If You Don’t Know What You Want?

I’m realizing how common it is for people to think there’s something wrong with them if they don’t know what they want, in their work, their business, or their life.

I often hear things like this:

  • “I don’t have a clear goal or vision for my future, so I might be a hopeless case.”
  • “Other people just know what they want, but I’m not one of those people.”
  • “I’m trying to be self-employed but really I need to figure out what I actually like.”

I feel sad when someone thinks she is “a hopeless case.” In reality, lack of clarity on what you want is super common. It’s probably the norm!

But then, what to do?

[image - looking out wondering] Continue reading