In case you’re wondering why I’m called The Black Swan Coach™, here’s the story and why black swans are a great role model for introverts, highly sensitive people (HSPs), and other kind-hearted people. Black swans are naturally good at having:
More Impact and More Ease, As You Are.
I learned an important lesson, for my life and my work, from seeing a pair of black swans one day.
I was looking at a pond and saw two black birds that looked like swans but… I was so struck by the unexpected color. I had never heard of a black swan until that day (living in a region of only white swans).
They had such an impact on me, even though they were doing nothing but sitting there quietly. (Notice quiet and big impact in the same sentence!)
I realized the black swan has a message for us.
We can have more impact by being who we are.
We need to stop trying to fit in with what’s expected (which we are all doing far more than we realize and it’s exhausting). Instead we can be our unique “black swan” selves in order to have the real impact we are craving. And we don’t need to make a lot of noise to be noticed.
I was once a wallflower and an overly self-conscious “good girl,” but I also craved having a voice and having a positive impact.
I found my way out of that shell by tapping into my unique passions and my natural strengths. Not by fixing myself.
I’m still a quiet-loving introvert and highly sensitive person (HSP), AND now I know how to be heard when I want to. And rest when I need to. I didn’t have to become someone else!
When I talk about impact and showing up confidently, it might sound like a contradiction… at first. But you can be a confident introvert.
It’s a myth that confidence is just for extroverts. You don’t have to be talkative to be confident, to make a difference, or to live the life you want. Actually, humble yet confident is the ideal balance I strive for. (Doesn’t “humble yet confident” sound nice?)
Take a look at the black swans in the photo above. Quiet, calm, beautiful, striking, yet not boastful. That’s you too.
I’m not saying you have to jump into the limelight to be successful or to make a difference in the world. Remember, it was a silent swan that caught my full attention. Introverts and sensitives can have impact simply by being themselves, even in a quiet way.
Where are you trying to fit in and hide parts of yourself?
→ Acting extroverted when you’re not? (and getting exhausted)
→ Toeing the line at work? 😬
→ Saying “yes” when you mean “no”?
→ Not standing up for what’s right?
All that “fitting in” is probably not helping you or anyone else in the room, and it might be hurting you or others.
Here’s another trap:
Falling into the hustle cycle to make your business work? 🤦🏻♀️
More ease and impact with self-employment — without the hustle.
I found what works for me. I call it my Black Swan Model for Business. It’s a calm approach that’s perfect for introverts and HSPs, like me.
No need to put on an extrovert mask to fit in or be successful. You can succeed by following your own rhythms and strengths.
Being authentically YOU is everything you need — even for getting your message out there.
I’m so glad I opened up to the possibilities that were already inside of me. I didn’t have to become someone else!
As people were inspired by the black swan story over the years, they started calling me The Black Swan Coach™ so I’m embracing that title too. My logo still reminds me to breathe and slow down.
But wait… what if…
Yes it can be very scary to take off that “fit in” mask, at first. Especially for introverts who often dread visibility. It could sound like this in your head:
→ “But they won’t think I’m nice anymore.”
→ “Yikes, exposure as a freak!” or
→ “But then I won’t make enough money.”
What if you can’t see your unique gifts that the world needs?
What if you feel like your part doesn’t matter?? (I know you matter.)
What about this messed up world?
We introverts and HSPs have so much to offer,
but we don’t always see our own gifts.
I recommend getting help to see your gifts.
You can get some help to see your gifts and find out how to deal with the fear that will arise. When you’re not alone with it, it is so much easier.
One of the gifts I’ve discovered in myself is that I can see the unique gifts in you, even when you can’t see it. (Curious about more possibilities for you?)
It gets easier.
Bringing your unique self to the world does get easier. To get there, it often means getting help for the transition. You don’t have to walk through that dark tunnel alone. That’s too hard.
It pays off — you’ll find all these treasures when you go for it:
- You can relax as you focus on your natural talents instead of some societal “shoulds.” (More YOU)
- You find the breathing room and work/life balance you’re craving. (More EASE)
- You easily find people who love what you offer and want to support it. (More IMPACT in the world. Which includes more sustainability for everyone.)
My Black Swan Formula for Impact with Ease:
More YOU > More EASE > More IMPACT
Want to have more you, more ease, and more impact?
(You’ll see others talking about black swans as symbols too. It’s a popular and powerful symbol.)