Blog

How a Highly Sensitive Introvert Held Strong in the Storm

Sometimes seeing the news about floods, hurricanes, fires, and all manner of disasters can really get to me inside, and I’m not even going through it myself!

My strength for empathy can be a real challenge at times like that. I can even feel it in my body as I write this. I had a good cry about flooding just the other day. Sometimes tears are just the thing.

I once lost my home in a fire, and escaped in the middle of the night, and that was a very hard thing to be sure. And I can’t imagine the horror of a whole region going through it at once. As a highly sensitive introvert and a “home-body,” I wonder how I would manage.

When one of many disasters had just happened and was on my mind, I asked people in my Facebook group for introverts to share their related feelings or experiences. One story came from Ksenia who had just gone through the latest hurricane and flood.

I was inspired by her resilience and I think we all learned from her tips too. So I asked her for permission to share this more widely, to help others like us, so we can remember we are stronger than we think.

She gave me permission to share her story here. Continue reading →

The World Is Changing Fast and Sensitive People Can Play an Important Role.

By Val Nelson

The world is changing at an accelerated pace, in unpredictable ways, thanks to climate disruption, outbreaks, and other destabilizing forces.

That acceleration and unpredictability is a scary thought to my human brain that craves stability. I’m talking about more than one temporary change. Sorry to bear this bad news but I think you already sense this, consciously or unconsciously. People with high empathy tend to feel it quite a bit.

Bear with me because I also have good news.

As I’ve been studying what is happening and likely to happen in the short-term and long-term, one of the key things that wise people are suggesting, and I agree, is to know how to calm your nervous system so you can adapt and help others, in whatever scenarios we find ourselves in.

I know we can do that and it’s a good place to focus first. I’ll talk about how, and what about for highly sensitive people and introverts?

Continue reading →

Having a Big Heart Can Also Mean Big Exhaustion. Start with Grounding.

By Val Nelson

My clients and I have big hearts (naturally empathetic), which means we automatically care about people and how it’s going in the world all around us. It’s a gift, and… sometimes it can lead to taking on more stress or responsibility than one body can handle.

We can be at risk for overwhelm from others’ energy or the ever maddening news. Well, let’s be honest, overwhelm can come just as easily from the inner critic (which says things like “You’re not good enough”). This week it was the national news that got to me.

But we have things to do here on earth. Ya know? People with big hearts are needed!

So, I’m thinkin’ we have to find a way that works for us. We need to manage our outer and inner roadblocks as job #1. We won’t be able to live our purpose if we don’t. The solution is not to shut our hearts down. It’s to stay open but add in effective grounding.

We need a giant Pause button so we can find solid ground and start from there.

She’s saying to me: “Stop, let me take a pause!” Sculpture artist: http://www.valeriegilman.com

As a highly sensitive introvert, I’ve had to find good grounding methods so I can keep living my purpose without exhaustion. I know we can do this.

In this post, I’m including:

what I mean by grounding and why it matters so much,
what works for me,
a self-assessment to help you choose your best grounding methods.
a way to learn a simple method that’s especially good for calming during tough moments.

Continue reading →

What Do I Do with All These Emotions?

By Val Nelson

One of the most essential lessons for my well-being has been what to do with emotions. Whether it’s the ones that seem to have no reason, or from big tragic causes, or in joyful moments, it all comes down to some simple understanding of what emotions are and what to do with them.

The topic of emotions keeps coming up in conversations with friends and clients.

In this crazy culture of ours, the topic of emotions, a simple universal internal system, has become foreign to us, and something we hide in the closet.

And yet, it is discussed frequently… in private. Or at least when people talk to me.

An acquaintance recently asked me on the sidewalk:
“I hear I’m supposed to allow emotions, but how does that really work when I’m afraid it will just swallow me if I look at all this grief?”

Good question! I know that feeling.

I’ll tell you about our conversation and how I’ve learned to understand and manage emotions as a highly sensitive introvert. Along the way, I’ll explain some simple truths about emotions that can bring you so much freedom and joy.

Continue reading →

The Pain and Recovery of Losing Your Job

By Val Nelson

If you’ve ever been fired from a job, you know how crushing that can be to a sense of self-worth, not to mention a hit to your sense of financial security (like a punch in the gut).

Behind the scenes, I know many people who have been let go who I see as amazing and gifted people with so much to offer. The way of typical business is NOT a test of your worth.

I’ll explain my own gut-punch experience, my theory on what it means when you are let go, and I’ll provide a simple exercise to help you in your recovery process.

Continue reading →