When work isn’t going well in some way, I notice it can really kick up a big bout of low self-worth or a sense of losing one’s confidence. It’s like a gut punch. 😓  And it’s really hard when that feeling just stays stuck that way.

Have you had that gut punch feeling? I sure have. Many times: in past jobs, during a job search (ugh), when starting my business, and during times well into my business when I veer out of alignment and things just aren’t going smoothly including a few months ago.

When it happens, I start second-guessing myself: “What am I doing wrong?” “Will this problem ever end?” and on and on. Those bouts are so humbling, and further draining.

Sound familiar? Turns out these bouts of low self-worth are very common when work is “off” in any way. In small or big ways: Someone left you out of a meeting. Or you have less clients than needed in your business.

It feels crummy and it can trigger a negative spiral inside even if you’ve done loads of work on yourself, and seen the cycle a zillion times.

I’ve got recovery ideas for you below, but for now, this is still true:

Always remember you are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and
loved more than you know.
~Christopher Robin, in Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne.

A starting place for recovery

I’ve got some simple starting places for you. This is especially important for highly sensitive people (HSPs) who might have built up a lot of pressure inside from holding in feelings in order to not be seen as “too sensitive.”

By the time people reach out to me for career or business coaching, they are often in that low confidence, gut-punch place, or feeling defeated and scared they will be stuck there forever. In other words, it’s not just a career situation to solve with some new strategy. There are feelings involved. Always.

Because of that, one of the first things I say is, “All feelings are OK here.” Sometimes their tears flow right away because they’ve been holding so much in, and feeling down about themselves. It doesn’t mean it’s therapy. It’s just reality. It’s human.

I know it’s also important to allow the feelings because most of my clients are highly sensitive, like myself, and we just feel a lot, and that’s OK. I like to help release that pressure valve.

Then we can get in to what’s going on and start to clear some cobwebs in that first free call. Same thing in my courses: I normalize fear and worries right away and provide some guidance for it.

Luckily a little release goes a long way for a sensitive person who responds quickly to positive input.

In other words, recovering your confidence can start with allowing some feelings, releasing that pressure valve. And then next comes…

Confidence can be recovered pretty quickly.

A little bit of clarifying who you really are, outside of the current situation, is hugely restorative. One of the first things to happen with my coaching clients is a boost in confidence:

“Oh, I really do have a lot to offer! As I am!
What I offer does matter. It’s just been a bad fit.” 💡

This confidence boost happens even before the work situation changes. I love getting to be part of this journey. Perhaps I’m really in the business of restoring confidence.

But then so much more happens. A sense of hope, clarity, momentum, flow, and new doors opening.

Possibilities arise that couldn’t be seen before, as if finally getting a pair of corrective eyeglasses.

I’m not saying you have to have confidence before anything else can happen. I’m saying it all seems to go together:

Confidence grows AS you move forward (even in tiny ways) with self-discovery, exploration, and step-by-step action towards what feels better. What feels better could turn out to be a few small tweaks to the current situation that you hadn’t seen before, or moving towards something new in ways that are now easier than you thought.

From the start, it’s a journey with a positive feedback loop. It’s a feeling that didn’t seem possible while caught in a negative feedback loop.

That’s what I notice, and it’s part of why I love my work so much.

Walking in nature also helps restore me.

What do you notice about self-worth and your work?

What do you notice in yourself when things aren’t going smoothly in your work?

Does it affect your self-worth? If it does, you’re just human. It’s OK.

Notice what helps you with that, and see if you can turn to it.

Bottom Line

There are ways to feel better sooner than you might think. It might start with 30 seconds of allowing some tears to flow. Or a walk in nature to feel a little bit of restorative energy.

You can then take a few steps to move towards more meaning and less stress in your work.

All my career and business courses, solopreneur groups, and career and business coaching offer room for the feeling side. Then we start tuning in to what feels better and that helps steer what’s next.