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Having a Big Heart Can Also Mean Big Exhaustion. Start with Grounding.

My clients and I have big hearts (naturally empathetic), which means we automatically care about people and how it’s going in the world all around us. It’s a gift, and… sometimes it can lead to taking on more stress or responsibility than one body can handle.

We can be at risk for overwhelm from others’ energy or the ever maddening news. Well, let’s be honest, overwhelm can come just as easily from the inner critic (which says things like “You’re not good enough”). This week it was the national news that got to me.

But we have things to do here on earth. Ya know? People with big hearts are needed!

So, I’m thinkin’ we have to find a way that works for us. We need to manage our outer and inner roadblocks as job #1. We won’t be able to live our purpose if we don’t. The solution is not to shut our hearts down. It’s to stay open but add in effective grounding.

We need a giant Pause button so we can find solid ground and start from there.

Persephone, sculpture by Valerie Gilman

She’s saying to me: “Stop, let me take a pause!” Sculpture artist: http://www.valeriegilman.com

As a highly sensitive introvert, I’ve had to find good grounding methods so I can keep living my purpose without exhaustion. I know we can do this.

In this post, I’m including:

  • what I mean by grounding and why it matters so much,
  • what works for me,
  • a self-assessment to help you choose your best grounding methods.
  • a way to learn a simple method that’s especially good for calming during tough moments.

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What Do I Do with All These Emotions?

One of the most essential lessons for my well-being has been what to do with emotions. Whether it’s the ones that seem to have no reason, or from big tragic causes, or in joyful moments, it all comes down to some simple understanding of what emotions are and what to do with them.

resisting emotions

The topic of emotions keeps coming up in conversations with friends and clients.

In this crazy culture of ours, the topic of emotions, a simple universal internal system, has become foreign to us, and something we hide in the closet.

And yet, it is discussed frequently… in private. Or at least when people talk to me.

An acquaintance recently asked me on the sidewalk:
“I hear I’m supposed to allow emotions, but how does that really work when I’m afraid it will just swallow me if I look at all this grief?”

Good question! I know that feeling.

I’ll tell you about our conversation and how I’ve learned to understand and manage emotions as a highly sensitive introvert. Along the way, I’ll explain some simple truths about emotions that can bring you so much freedom and joy.

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The Pain and Recovery of Losing Your Job

If you’ve ever lost a job, you know how crushing that can be to a sense of self-worth, not to mention a hit to your sense of financial security (like a punch in the gut).

Behind the scenes, I know many people who have been let go who I see as amazing and gifted people with so much to offer. The way of typical business is NOT a test of your worth.

Crazy world, yes. Crazy you, no.

I’ll explain my own gut-punch experience, my theory on what it means when you are let go, and I’ll provide a simple exercise to help you in your recovery process.

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The Worry About Being Seen as Too “Woo Woo”

I hear about this a lot from creative women and transformational professionals: a fear of being seen as too “woo-woo.” Familiar?

On the one hand, they want to talk about spirituality or things like the power of setting intentions, or a powerful energy healing experience, but they don’t want to be dismissed. I get that. First hand.

I’ve found myself trying to walk that line. I’m starting to not care, and I notice a lot of others are not as worried. We are going for it with talking about love, intuition, prayer, bigger impact, healing the world, sending loving vibrations, alternative healing, soul’s work, life purpose, and more.

And yet that “woo woo” police still lives on in many minds. Negative comments about it are so common. I think we aren’t noticing the flaws in that wording or thinking.

This “woo woo” idea has so many layers and I want to break it apart. What is that fear actually about?

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When You Think You Have Too Many Interests to Choose From…

I used to think I had too many interests to find a career that would fit. Do you worry about that too?

image of a swirl of question marks

One the one hand, ideas can be energizing. I love ideas.

But when it comes to choosing a career path, I remember it feeling like a swirl of question marks that kinda left me feeling stuck, hopeless, or sometimes just exhausted waiting for clarity to come.

However, now I see that the concept of “too many interests” is out of an old playbook that says I have to choose one narrow direction for life, and that’s that. But life and work are more complex and interesting than that. Right?

I do think some people might have more broad ranging interests than others, and they are perhaps lovers of Ideas Ideas Ideas, or what some call a “Renaissance Soul”. I’m raising my hand on that one. (By the way, being an idea-generating person is a unique talent, and it’s a marketable skill that could be a clue for your path.)

Over time, with seeing the inside stories as a career/business coach, I now think we all have multiple interests. Don’t you? Maybe your interests don’t all seem relevant to your career, at first, but you do have multiple interests, I bet.

I’ll explain a simple method for choosing a career when you have multiple interests. Continue reading