I often suggest to my clients that they know their own answers inside if they would pause to listen inside to their heart. And then they might ask, but how do I tune in? How do I know what my heart wants?
If we’re in a coaching session, I can help them hear their own heart, and it’s usually pretty easy. (That’s kinda what coaching is built for.) There are also ways to do it on your own.
It can seem tricky at first to hear and know what your heart wants, but then it can be quite easy too.
People with the high sensitivity trait (HSPs) can easily tune in to others’ feelings, and they are very capable of hearing their own inner signals too, but it can get drowned out by sensing so many things at once.
3 Ways to Hear Your True Heart
- If you have created a written list of your own core values, one that truly speaks to you, then it can serve as a very useful list to turn to when you feel foggy. It’s amazing how clarifying it can be. (It’s one of the first things I do with my coaching clients.)
- When you have a written purpose statement, it too can serve as something to turn to when you are losing track of your true north. A purpose statement makes a good proxy for what your true heart wants. (I also help my clients write a purpose statement.)
- You can also simply slow down, take a few slow cleansing breaths, then ask a question of your wise inner self (which is in there)*, and then listen with an open mind. Wisdom will often arise, maybe right away, maybe a few days later.
For clarity, knowing what your heart wants for small things, like what to do tonight, is easier than with more complex things like knowing what you want for your career. I’ve got ideas below for the small and large things.
*Wise Inner Self? Huh?
It can look many different ways. For me, I find it helps to get out in nature.
Sometimes when I’m out in the woods and starting to relax, I ask the trees what they think and that is surprisingly useful for me.
For some people, asking God, a guardian angel, a spirit guide, an ancestor, Mother Earth, or a future self is a good way to tap into deeper wisdom.
Perhaps you have or can create an altar to turn to, with things that remind you of who you are and what matters.
Holding your favorite rock or viewing a photo of your grandmother can bring solace and wisdom. I’m looking at my altar now and my grandmother (a fellow HSP) and my grandfather are smiling back at me, and now making me smile back.
Think about what works for you, to hear your own Knowing, your wise guidance, and try consciously turning to it next time you feel confused about something.
It’s so easy to forget to turn to your heart!
Oddly, it’s too easy to forget to turn to what we know is helpful. Actually, we often turn to what is counterproductive, like unhealthy distractions that pull us further from our knowing.
Maybe that’s why I’m writing this. To remind myself. I forget all the time, like when I went walking this morning and stayed distracted the whole time, partially missing out on all that nature energy. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s why I like altars. My altar has things like rocks, shells, and photos of my grandparents. The visual is right there to remind me.
What about the big things like your career path?
Start with little things like tuning in to decide what you truly want to do on Saturday.
Gradually build up to tuning in for the bigger decisions.
For me, when it’s a bigger thing, I usually need to also talk it out with someone to make sure I’m not missing something or getting stuck in old habits.
For the very big things like what you want for your career, it’s not just a question of what your heart wants because there are livelihood and family aspects to consider, right?
Knowing what your heart wants for your work life is still a good thing to know, but then there are other parts to incorporate too. I address the heart and the practical sides and how to bring it together in this free Roadmap to Your Career Sweet Spot for Introverts and HSPs.
Bottom line:
- Your heart knows what you want. Sometimes it’s just a matter of pausing to listen.
- You can learn to hear and know what your heart wants.
- Pause a little longer, take a few deep breaths, and be patient if it doesn’t come right away. It might come tomorrow morning or in a few days or weeks. Keep going back to listen.
- For big decisions, go step-by-step to explore different aspects in the mix, but do include your heart in the mix. It’s a big help. It knows more than you think.
Musical Inspiration for Following Your Heart
I love Michael Franti and this song from him is perfect for today: “Follow Your Heart”
