Tag Archives: shadow side

Oh, These Poignant Holidays… and Now This Too.

Posted on

The thermometer is dropping as we approach winter solstice in the Northern Hemisphere, and yet the stress thermometer seems to be heating up right now, in this holiday season.

Of course this holiday stress happens every year, but I’m finding this year is more poignant and palpable than ever. It feels like my heart is aching for everyone.

Every conversation somehow feels like the person is going to cry with the mention of COVID-times holiday. No one has the playbook for this one.

All we can do is turn to what we know, but what we know for the holidays isn’t fitting. So we keep stumbling, feeling stupid, feeling confused, and mostly just tired. Continue reading →

Managing the Whirlwind of Feelings in a Whirlwind World

Posted on

Dear Val: “Sometimes feeling all this stuff in the world and in my own life, and the people around me can feel like too much. All these feelings moving through me…. Sometimes I want to hide under the covers. But I also care. I’m not sure how to find the right balance sometimes.” ~ A highly sensitive introverted woman.

I’ve heard many versions of this same concern. As a sensitive introvert myself, I get it. I have now designed a life that doesn’t usually overwhelm me, even with all the feelings inside and around me, and that is so different from in the past. It still happens that I feel overwhelmed at times, I mean, this life, yowza! Whoa. But I can see that my choices and some daily habits are making it so much easier. #Grateful

If you’re like me and well, like all humans, you’re feeling a big range of things— from gratitude and love, to confusion or loss— all in this one moment. Seems strange but that’s life I think. And yet…

What if it feels like too much?
AND it’s also worth asking:
What if it opens you up to something wonderful?

I’ll share how I think of it.  Continue reading →

Empathy Overwhelm? Finding Words and Answers Amidst Darkness

Posted on

I originally wrote this post in December 2012 after a school shooting. Ouch, it hurts still to say those words. And I came back here today after yet another mass shooting in Florida to see how it might help me and others face this roller-coaster of emotions.

As I have questioned my emotional ups and downs this week, wondering why I can’t think straight sometimes, I’m reminding myself right now that this is normal and healthy. I’m so grateful a dear friend reminded me it’s not depression, it’s just a brain rewiring in process, and the message is “Please stand by. Upgrade in process.” Ha, that rings a bell. Allowing. Allowing.

I offer this earlier post to you and myself once again, because it still feels right, on this day in June 2016. Here it is from 2012:

The hard-to-talk-about dark side needs a voice today.

I want to honor what is present, and hopefully offer something helpful.

We struggle to talk about the dark side. And I believe we must visit it sometimes—in small doses—if we want to live fully and heal what needs healing.

Today, I’m thinking of the heart-breaking school shooting tragedy, the unfathomable destruction of another hurricane, ongoing wars that we hardly discuss, and the countless losses people are carrying during the holidays.

I see people searching for answers and connection online. Or running from loss because it’s too big.

A friend who lost her son this year told me that it’s hard to know when to mention her son’s name to others, but he’s always on her mind and the weight is heavy as the family gathers for the holidays. Wondering whether to hang his Christmas stocking… is one of many unanswerable questions. My heart sinks as I imagine each question unfolding.

I don’t pretend to have the answers. But I will share what words I am finding helpful. Continue reading →

Addicted to Social Media, Anyone?

Posted on

Every year I go to a fun relaxed day of learning called Podcamp, where we learn from each other about the latest in social media.

As I think about what social media topics most interest me, the one that rises to the top is how to stay out of the addictive nature of social media. So I decided to sort out my thoughts about it here and then maybe I’ll lead a session on this topic.

I think I’ll even ask everyone in the session to power down their technology, and find out what happens. Withdrawal? Real connections?

Here are my thoughts about the problem and some solutions. And don’t miss the fun Muppets video that will give you some relief right away.  Continue reading →