Here’s one of the most common sentiments I hear when introverts and highly sensitive people (HSPs) first come to me for career or business help: “I’m no good at putting myself out there.”
Sound familiar? Just that phrase “put myself out there” can cause a cringe. Not to mention how it comes with the worry that it will block your success.
I’ve got something to say about this, and I think it will help those shoulders relax, today. Which in turn can start to ease a lot of concerns related to your career or business journey.
In this note:
- My own dread and finding my way out.
- What Makes It Easier
- Example of the Easier Way
- Simple Starting Place for Fast Relief
- Solopreneur’s Corner: Needing and Dreading Visibility 🫣
My own dread and finding my way out.
I know this dread well. I was that shy kid who barely spoke. Thankfully, I got better at speaking up by the time I finished college, thanks to finding things I was passionate to talk about in my classes.
But my dread of putting myself out there really kicked up at various pressure points, like during career transitions or when starting my business.
It’s like we’re expected to say out loud what we do, and why you should care, even when we feel unsure about it! I know you get it. Cringe.
I discovered that the “putting myself out there” worry is normal for everyone!!
It’s a human thing, related to a primal need to fit in and not be shunned.
It’s also felt more deeply by introverts and HSPs. Our tendency toward deep thinking can lead to more worry on top of that basic human fear.
I discovered that sometimes I didn’t have a problem speaking when I needed to. It just flowed, and I was surprised. So I observed and noticed when it worked and when it didn’t, and I moved in that easier direction and dropped the icky stuff. Relief!
There’s hope for all of us…
What Makes It Easier
The key is to tap into the part that you’re passionate about, and allow sharing from that place. No need to force anything else. This works with networking, or speaking about anything that matters to you, in any context. This is important news.
From that place, words flow better and you tend to forget the worry.
Then you’re no longer thinking about “convincing,” you’re just sharing from a natural place of excitement. Your people (the ones you’re meant to connect with) do want to hear about what excites you, believe it or not. Your passion is inspiring.
Psst, it’s even OK to talk about your new puppy as a starting place if that’s what excites you right now.
Your people (which is to say, people you enjoy connecting with), don’t even care about perfect words or if your career is a definite path yet or not. You’re free to be imperfect and in process.
(By the way, if you’re not excited about the work you think you should be sharing about, it’s time for a career direction rethink. See this free Career Roadmap for Sensitive Souls for a starting place.)
Psst, networking events or some of the other “shoulds” you might have in mind are not required methods. You can find your methods and environments for sharing your thoughts, such as posting articles on LinkedIn or having one-to-one conversations.
Example of the Easier Way:
This image below is from a moment in a networking workshop I led, where this participant and I were doing a demo of focusing on sharing what we enjoy about our work, and suddenly all worries and perfection melted away. We were just having fun.
She told me she went from hating networking to loving it.
Simple Starting Place for Fast Relief
Drop the phrase “put yourself out there” and your shoulders can start relaxing.
Instead, call it “having meaningful conversations,” and see how that feels in your body. Totally different feeling for me. Feels good! ☺️
Focusing on meaningful conversations is actually what works best anyway.
You’re great at this already. Introverts and sensitive souls are naturally drawn to meaningful conversations with kindred spirits.
There is nothing to fix about you. ⬅️ Please take that in.
Solopreneur’s Corner: Needing AND Dreading Visibility 🤓 🫣
Let’s talk about how this “putting yourself out there” dread plays out for solopreneurs.
Getting your work out there can feel so hard and mysterious sometimes. Not to mention that overall visibility discomfort, even when you need the visibility to make this work. Ack.
You might want to know how heart-centered people like you actually make it work without resorting to icky marketing or burnout.
I’m an introvert and highly sensitive person (HSP) and I am determined to do business in ethical ways and still have it be sustainable for my livelihood and my energy. I have a feeling you’d like that too.
There are ways to make it work, without overwhelm.
Courageous manageable stretches, yes.
Overwhelm, no.
In addition to the tips I mentioned above for making “putting yourself out there” easier for us, I covered more specifics for solopreneurs, including what works for me, here:
Real Talk for Growing a Solopreneur Business as an Introvert or HSP
